Let Go & Unravel (after domestic abuse)

Below is a poem that comes from a place of low self-esteem and emotional damage caused by domestic abuse. That describes the feeling of not being able to be your true self for fear of what people will think and how they will react :

Her eyes are burning from unshed tears,

From emotion held back over so many years,

She can feel herself slowly unravelling,

Unsure of the path on which she is travelling,

She can’t keep the brave face up any longer,

She knows she needs to break to come back stronger,

But how can she let go and fall apart,

When all she knows is to smile and crack on ?

Who will be there for her,

Who can she lean upon ?

You see, she was always told to keep her business to herself,

That no-one would help, so best to keep it between themselves.

She’d spent years battling alone,

Unable to reach out and pick up the phone.

Whatever she done, it was never enough,

Inside she was breaking but to others she looked tough.

So now, as she sits in confusion and pain,

Not knowing who she is nor what she is trying to gain,

She wants to reach out, she really does,

But why would anyone be interested in her fuss ?

She’s not worthy of other people’s time,

So she pretends that everything is ok / fine.

After all, she is only enough when she is giving to others,

She can’t possibly reach out to those that say they love her,

That love is based on how much she does for them,

If she was to ask for help, surely they would drop that love and not pick up the phone,

Pull away and leave her hurt and alone.

This isn’t the way though, she knows it’s not,

The past is over but not forgot.

She is now surrounded by love and care,

But she struggles to believe that her demons she can share,

So instead she retreats, pulls back into herself,

Not reaching out, not showing her true self.

Until one day she has had enough,

She can’t keep on maintaining the tough,

She let’s go, she lets it all unravel,

Still unsure of the road she is about to travel,

But now with a sense of hope and trust in those she loves,

As well as a bit of faith in that above,

And those that love her will be with her each and every day,

You see, this is how love works in an unconditional way.

Lisa Johnson.

Picture by Kellepics at Pixabay